


the house husbands and the guard dog

by karrt



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Crack, Explicit Language, F/M, Female Character, Five being a good brother, Fluff, Multi, No Incest, No mention of relationships but kinda hinted at, No names used for female character, Non-Canonical, Other, Referred to as Eight, and Oscar, ish, just house husband material men, no offence luv, no one died, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:35:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28463232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karrt/pseuds/karrt
Summary: Five pays his sister, Eight, a visit and she has some guests that surprise and worry him.
Relationships: Axel & Oscar & Otto (Umbrella Academy), Axel (Umbrella Academy)/Original Female Character(s), Axel (Umbrella Academy)/Reader, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Reader, Oscar (Umbrella Academy)/Original Female Character(s), Oscar (Umbrella Academy)/Reader, Otto (Umbrella Academy)/Original Female Character(s), Otto (Umbrella Academy)/Reader, The Swedes (Umbrella Academy) & Reader, The Swedes (Umbrella Academy)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	the house husbands and the guard dog

**Author's Note:**

> The swedes <3

“Eight?” Five called out cautiously, not too sure about the situation he had just walked in on.

This was Eights house, he knew that, he’d been before. So why the fuck were there three tall, (extremely) blond men inside? And as he saw the face of Axel, he realised these were not just tall blond men but the Swedes.

He had never worked with the Swedes while working at The Commission, but he had seen them and had spoken to them once or twice at formal events and gatherings.

Spotting her as she bolted down the stairs to him, he opened his arms and accepted her violent embrace with an ‘umph!’.

“Are you okay?” Concern oozed out of him. She was, after all, still young and dumb. As the older brother (he definitely is, no matter how many times Eight refers to him as her ‘baby brother’), he should look out for his sister and her stupid decisions.

Decisions such as letting three fully grown assassins into her home.

“Yeah, never better, you?” She asked, a smile stretched across her face.

“You know these men?” He quietly questioned, very much trying to make sure only she would hear him, not give away that Five knew that these assassins must have some form of plan of attack and that he was trying to figure it out.

“What are you going on about?” Eight asked, as if the question Five asked was ludicrous, “Of course I know them, they pay most of the rent!”

Wait, what?

Surely paying rent must have been part of a long term plan of attack. Surely.

Instead of deterring Eight, he decided to make her understand how this was definitely wrong. Or at least something wasn’t right. That she was almost certainly in danger.

“You know that Allison rumoured one right? To kill the other?”

“Yeah but don’t say it so loud, yeah? It’s a sensitive subject with them,” she was quieter then, “Axel doesn’t like to talk about it.”

“Why are they here, Eight? You know they could kill you any minute right? They were sent to kill you, and me and the others.”

There was a pause for a moment while she tried to think of a reply.

“Yeah I know, I was there Five,” there was a half-scowl on her face now, no smile anymore, “I don't see the big deal! I got myself two not-so-little house husbands and a fucking guard dog! That one can cook and that one can clean!” She exclaimed, gesturing wildly to Axel and then Otto, who had glanced up at her words, “Why do you think I keep them around? Huh?”

It took a moment for Five to process what was actually going on, currently Axel was standing at the kitchen sink peeling potatoes in his underwear and an apron, Oscar was sorting through folded clothes on the dining room table and Otto was dusting the mantle in the living room. Curiosity driven, Five asked which one was the guard dog.

“Oscar is. You wanna know why?”

“Go ahead.” He gestured to her gently while sighing.

Eight leant forwards and whispered, “Cause he’s a bitch.” Just before a pair of clean socks were thrown at her head and Swedish was angrily spat towards her by Oscar, who had been taking his laundry up to his room.


End file.
